Mr Ordinary gets a bewildering taste of exotica and finds he's not quite got what it takes.
She said ‘What’s someone like you doing here?
A place for life’s losers in love and in fear
Where we can find solace by sharing our tears’
That’s what she said. I thought it was weird
I said ‘I just came out for some air and a drink
The lager looks tempting, what do you think?’
‘We should dance,’ she said. ‘Come here’
She writhed like a serpent high on cocaine
Her arms thrashed wildly, like boughs in a hurricane
Her eyes blazed bright, like a furnace of pain
I think that’s what she said. She didn’t explain
I said, ‘I can’t dance, I feel like a fool’
She said ‘It’s dark, no-one can see you
And everyone’s off their heads anyway’
The beats on the dance floor were intoxicating
The frenzy and chaos were suffocating
She cried, ‘Our passion must be consummated’
That’s what she said and that is verbatim
I said ease up now, I’m getting no younger
But she said her fervour could only grow stronger
And anyway, she wasn’t one for waiting
In bed, her fire became conflagration
Her lust filled the air from Heaven to Hades
She burned like a dying constellation
That’s what she said. I’m paraphrasing.
I did not come up to the standard expected
She got a headache and I got ejected
It was a long walk to the nearest station
Will Good and The Mattes is the public persona of SteveC, a songwriter in the far north of England. The (mostly) guitar-based approach is focused on (mostly) songs on anything from climate change to political rant to personal crisis.